Read Carolinas Wellness Collective’s Lisa Cashion’s top five ways to stay fabulous not frazzled during the Holiday season including practical tips on being present and positive, and easy-to-apply methods to help you navigate any situation.
WRITTEN BY Lisa L. Cashion, MA, MDiv, LCMHC, NCC
Welcome to the holiday season! If you’re feeling a mixture of excitement and stress about the weeks ahead, you’re in good company. People of all ages and stages can relate to that swirl of enthusiasm and trepidation associated with the holidays.
It’s much easier to navigate holiday challenges when we know we are prioritizing and protecting what matters to us most.
I hope that the following 5 steps (and 2 bonus tips) will inspire a positive and mindful approach to the days ahead. I encourage you to grab a notepad and pen, settle in for a spell, and engage your creativity with the suggestions below.
Step One: Setting the tone
Positivity has a powerful effect on our minds and our bodies. As a counselor and coach, I often hear requests for stress management techniques as the holidays approach. The ability to manage our stress is always important, but I’d like to add a twist. Let’s try shifting the focus toward maintaining the joy.
Try this brief exercise. Take a deep breath and say to yourself, “ I want to manage stress this holiday season.” Notice how you feel in your body.
Now take another deep breath and say, “I want to maintain the joy this holiday season.” How do you feel in your body when you shift to a positive goal?
It’s likely that the first statement creates tension, a tightening of muscles. Hopefully, the second statement elicits a sensation of lightness and openness. Our bodies take cues from our thoughts and our narratives, so setting the tone is a valuable practice. When our bodies feel open and relaxed, we have greater access to creativity, cognitive processes, and attention.
Step Two: Visioning
Creating a vision is one of the best ways to access our creativity and to get in touch with our true hopes and desires. A vision is an invitation to our imaginations.
Imagine that you can create the holiday season you want. What do you envision for the days and weeks ahead? How do you “picture” yourself and your environment? Are there sounds and smells and decorations? Is it cheerfully noisy or peaceful? Is it busy or slower-paced? What people are around you, and for how long?
Please resist the internal voice that says “it’s not possible.” We will get to the possibility part momentarily. Right now just enjoy the magic of your own creative process.
Visioning is a way of setting expectations for yourself, and it’s also a valuable form of preparation. Take some time to “picture” in your mind’s eye the holiday experience you wish for yourself. Perhaps you can make notes, draw, paint, collage, or write your vision in a story-like way.
Step Three: Creative Prioritizing
Often when we are prioritizing tasks, goals, or elements of a vision, we default to an established mindset or routine. We sort of line things up according to the way they have always been or the way that’s “expected.” I’m encouraging a creative prioritization that considers multiple possibilities.
Now that you’ve initiated a vision, notice the parts of your vision that are most important to you. Is it family traditions, service, faith practice, honoring lost loved ones, meals, gift-giving, entertaining, sports, baking, decorating, or any number of other possibilities? It can be helpful to make a list so that you have a quick reference for your reflections.
Once you’ve created your list, identify which elements of your vision align with your strengths. There will always be something important to us that isn’t in our personal skill set. Maybe you’re a fabulous planner, but not such a great cook. Maybe you are eager to organize a service project but don’t enjoy buying gifts. Keep all of the most important elements on your list but make an extra notation beside the ones that are joyful and manageable for you to accomplish yourself.
Step Four: Communication
If your holiday vision includes other people, communicating with those family members, friends, and colleagues is a meaningful next step. You might be surprised to hear that communication is the hardest part of this whole exercise. As much as people want to be good communicators, it’s scary to let others know our hopes and wishes. Sometimes it’s the fear of disappointing loved ones or disrupting an established routine. Sometimes it’s the concern that others will reject our visions or be unwilling to help bring them to life.
Maybe your coworkers like to celebrate with a big dinner that goes late into the night, and you want to suggest a daytime activity instead. Maybe you’d like to travel for the holidays, and your family typically gathers at home. Maybe you want to maintain traditions but want to divide up the tasks in a new way. All of these are valid but can feel daunting to communicate.
Here’s a good communication tip – a positive sandwich. Lead with empathy and positivity. Start with something positive like, “I really enjoy our time together during the holidays,” or “I know how much family traditions mean to you.” Then offer up your insights and visions, your particular wishes for the holiday season. Close out with another empathic or positive statement, such as, “I look forward to hearing your thoughts,” or “I am excited to work on this together.”
Collaboration isn’t possible without communication. When you share your vision, you have a much greater chance of seeing it materialize.
Step Five: Being Present
Instead of a frantic rush toward an event or weekend or day, let the whole season be an experience of maintaining the joy. Even when scrambling or stressing, circle back to your vision and your creative prioritization. Remind yourself of what’s most important to you, and make time for those activities and preparations. Maintaining the joy is a practice. It’s not about staying in a perpetual blissful state, it’s about actively returning to joy when you veer off course.
Two Bonus Tips:
- Attending to your self-care practices will sustain you during the holiday season. Don’t forget to keep up with healthy habits such as exercise, sleep, nutrition, meditation, faith practices, etc. These core practices will support and protect your emotional and physical health during busier, more exciting, or stressful times.
- Make time for post-holiday reflections. It’s always easier to remember details closer to an event. Carve out some time to make notes about what you enjoyed about the holiday season, what was underwhelming, what new ideas emerged for next year. These little gems will come in handy for the next holiday season.
Lisa L. Cashion, MA, MDiv, LCMHC, NCC
Carolinas Wellness Collective — Working with Individuals, Couples and Families for Mental / Emotional / Relational Wellness
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