Planning a wedding is such an exciting time for engaged couples. However, before walking down the aisle, you and your soon-to-be spouse should add an important conversation about finances to your pre-“I Do” checklist. Attorney Robin M. Mermans shares her top tips when it comes to discussing finances, assets and debts before tying the knot.
Written By Robin M. Mermans, Esq. of ROAD to RESOLUTION
Planning a wedding is such an exciting time for engaged couples. However, before walking down the aisle, you and your soon-to-be spouse should add an important conversation about finances to your pre-“I Do” checklist. While these decisions may not be as exciting as tasting cake and selecting place settings, they will likely be the most impactful.
As a Collaborative Family Law attorney, certified mediator, co-parenting coach and trusted guide, I am passionate about helping couples navigate the financial and legal implications of marriage.
Here are my top tips when it comes to discussing finances, assets and debts before tying the knot:
Embrace Transparency
Being honest and upfront with your partner about finances—and everything else—will allow you to see the full picture. Discuss spending and saving habits such as budgeting, paying bills and credit card usage. Be sure to also discuss previous negative financial experiences and any triggers or fears you have around money management.
Understand Values & Mindset
No one has the exact same financial experience throughout their lifetime. Financial habits start in childhood by observing your family’s relationship with money. While this can create positive or negative experiences and impact money personalities into adulthood, it’s vital to understand the differences between one another. This can range from how much you want to spend on a house and what type of car you’ll drive to how often you dine out and where you shop. Find common ground and make shared goals around your united financial priorities.
Address Your Future Family
If you and your partner would like to have children, this might change your financial situation. If you both agree that one of you will stay home to raise children while the other works, you need to factor this into your budget planning. Likewise, you’ll also want to discuss what the plan will be once children are older and if the stay-at-home parent will re-enter the workforce. Additionally, if both parents work, you’ll need to research childcare expenses and options. It can also be helpful to have a conversation about schooling and what type of education you’d prefer for your children, such as public, private, charter, homeschool and/or religious.
Create a Budgeting Strategy
As you have these conversations, work toward creating a joint budget that addresses your shared financial goals as a married couple. This should focus on both short-term and long-term goals as well as developing a realistic budgeting strategy to help you achieve your objectives. When working with engaged couples, I often recommend creating a roadmap for how finances will be handled once married. This should explore joint, individual, savings and investment accounts. Talk to your partner about where paychecks are deposited, how bills are divvied up and how you will handle unexpected expenses such as job loss or medical bills.
We’re Here to Help
No matter where you and your soon-to-be spouse are in your financial discussions, I highly recommend seeking professional advice for these types of decisions. With the help of a third-party, preferably a financial professional, you and your partner can be guided through what might be difficult and challenging financial topics.
ROAD to RESOLUTION’s Pre-“I Do” Education takes the guesswork out of legal obligations once married. Couples will gain an understanding of how marriage impacts finances and families, so they are prepared to wed with not only confidence in love but confidence in the legal consequences, too. Please call 980.260.1600 to learn more about working with me and my team at ROAD to RESOLUTION and schedule your Pre-“I Do” Education meeting.
Note: This feature is intended to be informational only and shall not be construed as legal advice.
Robin M. Mermans is a Collaborative attorney, certified mediator, and co-parenting coach. She owns ROAD to RESOLUTION: Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Family Law in Charlotte. With her unique perspective as an attorney, mother, and stepmother, she is an expert in shared parenting solutions and co-parenting guidance. She is committed to using her personal story and passion to help her clients save time and money, while avoiding unnecessary emotional turmoil during their divorce journey and on their road to resolution.